In my last blog post I wrote about some things that inspired me to run.  In the Spring, I ran the Kentucky Derby Mini Marathon in Louisville, KY.  I had been inspired to set this mini as a goal after watching the Disney movie Secretariat. My neighbor, her husband and some friends had run it the previous year, and she had talked about how cool it was to run on the in field at Churchill Downs. It was the push I needed to commit to training for another half marathon. 

I have watched this one particular scene in Disney's Secretariat a thousand times.  Each time, I giggle with excitement and pure joy.  A good feeling just rushes over me.  The horses are racing at Belmont, and Secretariat is running for the Triple Crown.  As he makes the turn for home the music in the background explodes!  You do want to jump from your couch and cheer the unbelievable athlete of a horse to victory even though history has proven that victory is the outcome. Sport's writers have written that Secretariat's road to the Triple Crown is still one of the greatest moments in sports history. Oh! Happy Day is the song that blasts as the horse and rider make the final turn for home in the movie. http://youtu.be/kx533GIKhZU. I encourage you to watch the clip. It will move you!!

Our church service closed on Sunday with a spin off version of Oh! Happy Day.  Of course, it reminded me of this favorite movie clip.  It also reminded me of mile eight on the KDF mini route I ran in the Spring.  As we made our way around the in field at Churchill Downs it was the original version of Oh! Happy Day playing through my ear buds.  A goal reached! An item crossed off the bucket list!!

Sunday's service also taught me something new about something else familiar to me.  The pastor spoke on Hebrews 12.  My first blog post shared this scripture: "... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.  The ... that I omitted from my first post was the focus of this passage for our pastor.  It reads "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us....". He talked about what he imagined as he read about being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.  His mental image was that of a runner running in a great arena or stadium as spectators looked on.  In all honesty, I always skipped that part of the scripture passage.  But, as he spoke and shared his thoughts, I related them to my own experience.

I thought back to my race in Louisville. The mini was only my second half to complete.  It was my first thousands of runners race.  It was also my first thousands upon thousands of spectators along the course. All the folks cheering really added to the whole race experience.  There were so many encouraging and hilarious signs to read. I think my favorites were, "run random stranger run", "run like you stole something" and of course "toenails are for sissies".  (I relate to the last one on a personal level having lost two nails since the finish.) There was constant upbeat music playing. The diversity of the people groups there to witness our running was something I did not expect.  We had everything from church groups, to frat boys, to nursing home residents waiting to clap, cheer and show their support.  So yeah, I get  the "great cloud of witnesses" part now.

I ran late Sunday night and had all of this on my mind.  I stopped and found Oh! Happy Day on my iPod. As I listened, I made a mental note to watch the clip from Secretariat yet again.  As I watched with fresh eyes and with the mind set of "great cloud of witnesses", I noticed all the cutting away from the horses and the track back to those who were there to watch this great victory. Their reaction to the win is nothing short of complete jubilation. The jubilation of the spectators spurs the runners on to the finish line. Oh! Happy Day indeed!!!!

Some runs are harder than others.  It always feel great to finish a run that has been a battle from before the first step.  I had such a run over the weekend.  My clock was set for an early (before 6 AM) run.  I woke up, but could not will myself out of bed. I decided to wait and run later in the afternoon with my older brother.  I sent him a text telling him of my plans.  He texted back about 30 minutes later saying he was just finishing his run. Yay!!! good for him, but that wrecked my co-dependent running plans for the day.  What to do now? It was to be a tough 3.7 mile afternoon run.  About mile 2 is when the "why am I doing this?"  started to creep into my head.  The thoughts of "I didn't want to do this today, it sure is hot out here, my legs are hurting, my breathing is not right, I should probably walk some" are mounting when the head fights back with "motivate the mind, one step at a time, motivate the mind, just one foot in front of the other,  motivate the mind.....

Yes, motivate the mind; the body will follow is a favorite mantra of mine. But how do you motivate the mind run after run? On this particular day from the word "jump" it was going to be a difficult run. I woke up with the wrong mind set. At the mile 2 mark when I asked myself, "why am I doing this?" I thought back to the beginning. My first memory of wanting to run was after hearing an essay read aloud in my high school English class. Our teacher was a runner, and she demonstrated to us how to write a descriptive essay by writing about why she loved to run.  I remember having this feeling of wanting to do something I had never desired to do before.....run. The essay was quiet compelling. It made her love for running contagious.  So I think about how I felt hearing her words when I want to quit.  I also think about when I first started running years ago.  I took a walk/jog/run class in college.  I signed up with a friend, and we were going to be walkers for an easy, effortless A.  My big brother had the same class at a different time that semester.  He ratted me out to our instructor by telling her I ran with him sometimes.  Armed with this new information, she informed me that I was a runner or at least a combo for her class. I think about her believing I could be a runner.  I also think about running with my brother during that time.  He had played collegiate ball, and he was in shape.  We would start out together, but in no time he would pull away, and I would be chasing him.  We would run from our house across the creek and down in front of the ruins of an old plantation home. To the day, as I chase him, I am reminded that he is jedi master of the mind game. There is no one more mentally strong during a run.  When we run together now he beats me because I succumb to the mental struggle. He will say to me "you got to be tough." 



The  almost 4 mile afternoon run was tough, but I proved to be tougher by motivating my mind and changing my focus.  After dreading it all day I got out there and ran it by myself.  But was I really out there all alone? No. This run proved to be like all the others.  You are always running with who or what inspired you.


 

OK.  Here it goes. My blog. After years of thinking about it, and saying I was going to start a blog I am finally taking the plunge.  So as I fly by the seat of my pants here and search for what my blog is to be, I'll start with why title my blog Running to Stand Still?  If you are cool enough to recognize it as the title to a song, then you may get it.  For all others I will explain:  Running to Stand Still is a U2 song released in 1987.  The title came from a phrase Bono's brother used when Bono asked about his brother's struggling business. His response was "it's like running to stand still". It is well documented that Bono, unfamiliar with the phrase, thought the saying described the  heroin epidemic that was going in Dublin at the time. Like any great song, it's meaning is multi-layered. I have no experience with drug addiction, but I relate to the description because of the similarities of what our life is like at times.  In a word: chaos. A beautiful mess if you will. The meaning of the idiom has been defined as a person struggling to keep up with the patterns or course their life is taking.  Yep! That is me, a wife and a mom of three very social and active kids just trying to keep up with it all. It is my current struggle. Four years ago, I went back to work full time and I don't think I have been "caught up" on housework or laundry since.  As moms we do juggle so many different areas. And how much time do we spend beating ourselves up because we feel like no one area is done to perfection? Although I started running for fitness and a way to loose some weight, I was surprised to discover how it awoke my mind, settled my spirit and wiped away the stress and feelings of imperfection. There is scripture that reads ".... let us throw off everything that hinders.... and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us". Running for me does just that, it throws off everything that hinders me(i.e. the endless schedules, the unrelenting rat race, the stuff that goes undone or is never caught up to my liking, the dealing with meltdowns and bad moods, refereeing the fussing and fighting and aggravating one another among the kiddos, the "what's for supper?", the "Let's go! We are going to be late!"). I am no great or perfect runner. I am slow and I take walk breaks. But I always persevere. I always finish feeling renewed and re-energized.

I have written this blog post in my head hundreds of times on run after run. My favorite version of Running to Stand Still is a live recording from Dublin in 1993. In this version, after the last lyrical "running to stand still" is sung there is a drum beat, and dramatic pause before Bono starts belting "halle, halle hallelujah" over and over. Every time, without fail, this rendition almost stops me in my tracks because of the visual it paints for me.  Again, scripture reads ".... fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter  of faith." We are all running.  You are either running from something or to something.  Yes, my vision is what I am forever running to, and when I get there I will stand still singing "Hallelujah!" for forevermore because whatever our chaos, whatever our struggle, whatever our imperfections it is all pale in comparison to the Light of the world.